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What approach did you take with your significant other or lover in trying to explain the separate beds thing to them. Did you let them know gradually, tell them straight away or let them figure it out on their own?
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Re: How Did You Break The News
Thu, February 12, 2004 - 6:43 PMShaku, how do you let them know "gradually" - what, did you sleep farther and farther away each night until you finally got into the second bed, and they asked why?
I AM being facetious here... unfortunately my wife's bed is in a whole 'nother town, and it was pretty sudden. Not quite the situation you're referring to, I'm afraid... -
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How Did You Break The News
Fri, February 13, 2004 - 12:24 AMWell, you see, the dates, in the beginning were all set up where I had some excuse where I had to be home early or late, but had to get back. At first they thought I was just another insensitive guy giving them the brush off, but then the next day I would write them a poem, send them an e-mail or whatever. So I set up a track record of being a real reliable, very loving fellow who just happened to have to go home a lot. And then, say a couple months into it, after they were already hooked, the truth finally came out. But they rarely rejected me outright for that, once they really saw that we loved each other. Only one woman ever walked out on me because of it, although I would have thought it would have been a dozen, and she called back a year later and wanted to see me again. So, in short, it takes a lot of weaseling and craftiness. :) -
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Re: How Did You Break The News
Fri, February 13, 2004 - 6:01 PMOk... *scribbles furiously on a half-soggy napkin from under his beer*...poems... eeee-mail... couple months (jeez)... weaseling... craftiness - LOTS OF...
Good! ok, and then they're all hanging on you and getting along with each other and you can't breath for all the female flesh piled on you, right? Yeah, yeah... uh, that IS right, isn't it? Hello?
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Re: How Did You Break The News
Thu, March 25, 2004 - 9:52 AMI say that I need to sleep in my own bed
(my mattress is usually FAR superior) and that
I don't sleep well, I sleep better alone.
I do allow "sleep-overs" in my bed, but it is the
occassional thing (few times a month) and I'm likely to wake the person up in the middle of the night and tell them it is
not working, move to the couch or whatever.
I have had a few different live in lovers with seperate beds.
It generally starts off with some flack, and we respond
to questions alot, but the conclusion is generally
--oh that really works!
Partially it is the sleeping thing, but it is also privacy and that I don't want to share a room with someone
(which has been true since I was a kid). -
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Re: How Did You Break The News
Thu, March 25, 2004 - 11:25 AMAngel - did you actually say "a few times a month"?
*shuffles off, downcast, wishing for ANYthing that "occasionally"*
I've got a friend who feels just the way you do about sharing a room, even though she's living with my best friend. She said it almost the same way, too. Except that as a kid she had to share a room with several siblings. -
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How Did You Break The News
Fri, March 26, 2004 - 12:32 AMGood point Angel. Yes, I too do sleepovers, but for fun and not for functionality. That is, if I have the next day off and it doesn't really matter too much if I'm groggy all the next day, then sure. I can handle a day or two without sleep here and there. So if a person really needs a night of company, then I just figure there will be an occasional night where I don't sleep in order to be close to someone. So doing here and there for symbolic reasons or just because someone needs it, or even I sometimes need it - - that's all good. But when it's just taken for granted that you owe this other person half your bed for eternity, and, if you should object to that, they use it as some eveidence you don't love them or whatever. But, in principle, I really enjoy a planned sleepover, or a spontaneous one, so long as later the next day I can take a nap by myself and then resume my usual trip.
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