It's so funny how this goes. But I was able to spend the night spooning in the same bed with someone, but only because they made it clear that they would accept me just fine if I needed to go sleep on the couch. Once the pressure is off, it's much easier.

It's kind of like being around someone who is always saying, "I took a guy home the other week and he couldn't even get it up!" Then the person wonders why it keeps happening with lots of other people too.

I have another friend though who, if you sleep at this person's house, they'll wake up in the morning, "How well did you sleep? Did you sleep well?" So that when you go to bed knowing they will press that point, it's sort of a set up.

Sleep and sexual arousal are two things I notice can't be forced or pressured, since they are, in some sense, relaxation responses. Hence Viagra slightly lowers blood pressure, not raises it. In the same way, sleeping pills get you high enough that you forget about sleep. Remember that you need to sleep or remembering that you need to be turned are the most sure way to not be turned on and to not get sleep.